Journal Entry 7: Designer Jeans...Friend or Foe?

Jodie Russell
Presurgery Weight: 282 pounds
Current Weight: 197 pounds (6 months after surgery)

“Try them on!” my husband yells as he thrusts the intimidating Guess? jeans at me.

With a pitiful scowl on my face I answer “No!”

“Stop being a brat and try them on, Jodie!” he says with his hand, still full of jeans, outstretched to me.

I couldn’t resist the huge sign outside the Guess? outlet store that read 50 percent off already marked down items. It is starting to get a bit chilly so a Guess? sweater would be fabulous. I do love Guess? …sooooo naturally I HAD to go in. I can fit into some sweaters and stretchy shirts, but by no means at all the PANTS!!!! And, of course, shoes always fit, right? I literally have not been able to fit into Guess? pants since high school 15 years ago.

Well …right about now I’m really regretting the decision I made to walk into this store. This cute, bubbly sales guy walks up to us smiling. He stops and glances nervously between my evil eye and James, my husband, staring back ferociously with the clothes outstretched in his arm.

“Umm would …you like … to try those on?” the sales guy asks timidly.

In unison I say “No” and James says “Yes.” The sales guy smiles, takes the clothes and says very animatedly, “I’ll just start a room for you.”

Before today I was feeling amazing about my weight loss! I suppose my biggest fear is that I really haven’t lost as much weight as I think I have. I mean, when I was 282 pounds I SWORE I was the hottest thing on the planet! I never realized how big I was. So I’m afraid that I will be disappointed if I try on these clothes and they don’t fit. In my head I’m thinking I’ve lost enough weight to fit into them, and I feel amazing. BUT I also thought my 282 pounds wasn’t THAT big. I guess the size 22 didn’t give it away. It’s because I JUST dried my clothes and the material is cheap so my whole closet shrunk … it’s the shrinking fairy, I swear! So here I stand having a showdown with my husband and the cute little perky Guess? guy, whose capri pants I want!

I feel as if I’m walking the green mile as I head down the hall of ominous dressing rooms. I’m hoping the hallway will get longer and longer, you know like in the horror movies. HA, no such luck. I go into the room and see all my options hanging there laughing at me. Mr. Guess? guy tells me “let me know if you need anything.” I whisper under my breath “a new body?” I guess he heard me as he replied, “Don’t we all, sister.” (Note to self: Work on quiet whisper voice.)

I grab the first pair of pants. A STRETCHY, cute, high-waisted, BLACK pair. Notice keywords: stretchy and black. I slip them on. Hmm, there has to be some mistake. They are … they … wait a minute ... what the heck! They are TOO BIG!!!

I try on a pair of adorable jeans which I shimmy effortlessly into. I didn’t even have to tug on the belt loops to get them up over my bottom! That used to be a daily ritual. The tugging on belt loops and flopping around like a fish out of water to get a pair of jeans on. You should see all the belt-loopless jeans I had! Then I pair it with a cream Guess? sweater. Yes, I said cream! A curse word to overweight people!!! And I just about die when I look into the mirror. Not only am I wearing normal name-brand clothing, I look HOT!

I walk out of the dressing room and say the words I've been waiting to say for a decade: “These are too big.”

My husband pays for my new outfit and as we walk out he says, “I told you so!” I can no longer contain the tears as they fall down my cheeks! Every single drop telling a story of the girl I was, trapped in a body that didn’t belong to me. The layers finally peeling away revealing the real me.

When I get home, I decide to go weigh myself. I can’t tell you how long I have waited to no longer see 200! As you read in my previous blog, I’ve been banned from weighing myself often! I get permission from my warden (husband) to use the scale. I look down and scream!!! Not only am I under 200 but I’m 197!!!! This I can truly say … is one of the best days of my life! Watch out malls, here I come!  Follow more of Jodie's ongoing weight-loss journey.

For More Information
If you would like to start your own weight-loss journey at Sharp Memorial Hospital, learn more by attending a free informational seminar. To register, call 1-800-82-SHARP (1-800-827-4277) or register online at Sharp weight-loss surgery seminar.