Help for loved ones of people with a serious mental illness

About 1 in 20 American adults lives with a serious mental illness that causes functional impairment, disrupting work and relationships and upending daily life. And the challenges often reach beyond the individual, extending to family and friends.

Although new forms of therapy, medications and community services have helped many lead fuller, more independent lives, support from friends, family and peers is still vital to recovery. Yet caring for a loved one who’s struggling can feel confusing and overwhelming. And many aren’t sure how to help, what to say or which resources are available.

At Sharp Grossmont Hospital for Behavioral Health, a free support group for friends and family supporting a loved one living with mental illness can help.

Support for friends and family

Desiree Noriega is an associate clinical social worker at Sharp Grossmont who leads the group. She says it’s not easy when a loved one is diagnosed with a mental illness.

Caregivers can feel helpless or even afraid, especially if they see behavior that seems irrational or out of character and aren’t sure how to respond. It’s also natural to feel frustrated — many people don’t realize these behaviors are symptoms of an illness, not a choice.

The group is designed for participants to learn about mental illness and what to expect based on their loved one’s diagnosis. It is a safe place for caregivers, family members and support people to ask questions, share their experiences and gain the tools needed to take care of themselves while supporting their loved one.

Knowledge is power

“Families often tell us the most confusing part is the mental health system and simply understanding how it works,” says Noriega. “Terminology, such as levels of care, involuntary holds, conservatorship, outpatient versus inpatient treatment and medication management, can be confusing and overwhelming.”

When a loved one is in crisis, families find themselves juggling hospitals, insurance, providers and legal steps all at once. Confidentiality laws can make things even less clear, leaving them unsure where to turn for information or to be more involved.

“Our group helps by slowing the process down,” Noriega says.

Families learn how to navigate the system, understand common misconceptions and set realistic expectations. They’re also reminded that confusion is normal. Seeing the bigger picture helps them feel more empowered and less alone.

Stigma and finding community

According to Noriega, another common challenge is stigma.

“Families feel isolated, unsure who they can confide in without fear of judgment," she says. "There may be many factors — shame, cultural pressure or denial that surrounds mental illness, resulting in delays in seeking treatment or support.”

The group offers a space that builds empathy, encourages open discussion and creates a sense of community with others who understand what caregivers are facing — reminding participants that they’re not alone.

“It’s a place where participants are allowed to experience compassion and encouragement from others who can relate,” adds Noriega.

Caregivers need care too

Supporting someone with a serious mental illness can be profoundly meaningful, but also emotionally exhausting and, at times, isolating.

“Often, caregivers minimize their own distress, believing they must 'stay strong,' increasing their own risk of burnout, anxiety or depression,” says Noriega.

Those who attend the group are encouraged to look into resources, such as therapy for themselves, peer groups, educational workshops and help with setting clear and appropriate boundaries. When caregivers are regulated and supported, they are better equipped to respond calmly during crises and remain steady during recovery.

The takeaway

Noriega often meets with parents, spouses, siblings and others who find themselves in caregiver positions feeling overwhelmed, confused and searching for answers.

“They have questions about symptoms, treatment, boundaries and the mental health system overall,” she says. What struck her most was the unmet need of families expected to be pillars of support, yet lacking support themselves.

“This group was created with the intention of providing a space that is both educational and emotionally grounding," she says. "It's a place where families can ask difficult questions, gain clarity about mental illness and systems of care, and connect with others who truly understand the complexity of loving someone through a mental health crisis.”

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