Keeping hope alive amid scams and setbacks

Bart Newsom sits in a cramped room. Large plastic laundry baskets, a fan and other miscellaneous items are piled along the wall. For now, this is his home — a spare room kindly offered to him by a member of his church.

Despite the stark, temporary living situation, Bart keeps his spirits up. The unfortunate events that led him here are dotted with moments of hope, thanks to his continued drive to reach out for help.

A deep loss

Fifteen years ago, Bart’s wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. Bart retired early from his job with a telephone company to stay home and care for her. He started attending an Alzheimer’s support group and an intensive outpatient group therapy program at Sharp Grossmont Hospital for Behavioral Health to help him handle the stress of being a caregiver.

Sadly, Bart’s wife passed away in 2020.

After her death, Bart decided to re-enter the workforce. He took on various jobs serving those with learning disabilities and mental health issues.

“I decided to find jobs where I could try and help people,” he says. “Caring for my wife while she was sick and being in therapy made me change my value system. Mindfulness, compassion and kindness now became my values.”

Moving forward but facing challenges

Due to various stressful situations, however, Bart quit or was let go from the handful of jobs he had. Moreover, he was deceived by online scams luring people via online romantic relationships or text messages to gain long-term trust and eventually, take their money.

“I met this woman online and believed she was in love with me,” he says. “But for us to be together, she wanted me to ‘up my game.’ Since she was already rich, she wanted me to also be rich and in her social circle.”

The woman eventually convinced Bart to raid his savings and open credit cards — only to have his accounts frozen. He then realized he had been scammed out of hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Bart kept repeating the cycle of succumbing to online scams, hopping in and out of unsuccessful jobs, losing what money he had left and being evicted due to his inability to pay rent. “I was left feeling vulnerable and depressed,” he says. “I had lost my self-confidence.”

The call that saved his life

In the middle of this downward cycle, depressed and upset, Bart decided to take his life — twice.

On his first attempt, Bart survived. “I just got really messed up,” he says. “The next day, I dragged myself to church and went to the service. On my way home, I crashed into a parked car.”

The second attempt came after falling for another online scam. “I was distraught that it happened again, so I decided to kill myself again.”

But out of the blue, he received a phone call from his brother.

“He told me that God had told him to call, and he asked me what was going on,” says Bart. “My brother talked me out of killing myself.”

His brother also texted Bart’s son, who then called 911. The police arrived and took Bart to the hospital.

Keeping hope alive

Despite his challenges, Bart kept returning to the group therapy program at Sharp Grossmont Hospital for help.

“What I was working on in my last sessions was how to recognize and stop myself from getting involved in online transactions and relationships,” says Bart. “I think I got a handle on that and how to identify the thoughts of all the depression I was in.”

Bart also values the camaraderie he experienced in group therapy. “Being able to share was good for me,” says Bart. “People in the group are so supportive and nonjudgmental.”

He also finds inspiration in the Bible. “While in the hospital, I was reading the Book of Job,” Bart says. “He lost everything, but he got it all back.”

Now, as he sits in his room, he hopes one of the several applications he completed for transitional senior housing will be approved so that he does not have to live on the streets. He also plans to join a city choir.

Bart says he tries to stay positive and resilient. He uses dialectal behavioral therapy (DBT) skills to help himself. DBT is a type of therapy focused on building mindfulness, relationship, emotion regulation and distress tolerance skills. It helps people accept reality while learning skills to change negative behaviors.

“It’s where you hold opposite views at the same time,” he says. “You don’t give up, but you also have to learn to let go because God is going to be in control. Even when you are really down, you can still have hope.”

If you or a loved one is experiencing a mental health crisis, call 911, or call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988.

Learn more about mental health services at Sharp and contact Sharp Grossmont Hospital for Behavioral Health to learn about the intensive outpatient programs by calling 619-740-5811, sending an email or submitting a request form.