Honoring lives of babies gone too soon

For every family who welcomes a baby into the world, there are also families experiencing the heartbreak of losing a baby they had hoped to deliver and bring home. Pregnancy and infant loss can happen at different points, including early pregnancy, at birth, or in the days and weeks that follow. For families like the Linneys, finding ways to remember their babies and connect with others who understand can help them emotionally heal.

A nurse, a mother and a journey of loss

Randi Linney, 36, is a labor and delivery nurse at Sharp Mary Birch Center for Women & Newborns Chula Vista at Sharp Chula Vista Medical Center. Since 2018, she has cared for women during childbirth, helping to bring their babies into the world. But when she became a mom herself in 2021, she experienced the joy of welcoming her own baby, Scotti Linney, alongside the heartbreak of losing one, too.

"My daughter, Scotti, was originally supposed to be a twin," she shares. “Sadly, her twin didn't make it past eight weeks in my womb. That first loss was hard for our family, but we are so grateful to still have Scotti and hoped that one day we could give her a sister or brother.”

Randi and her husband, Evan Linney, kept trying — holding onto their hopes of welcoming a son or another daughter.

"I continued to have miscarriage after miscarriage, which was very discouraging,” Randi says. “At the time, we didn't know why having more children was so hard for us."

Through genetic testing, Randi learned she carries the fragile X gene, an inherited condition that can be linked to early perimenopause symptoms. These symptoms can cause the release of eggs more quickly and increase the risk of pregnancy loss.

"After the fourth pregnancy didn't end well, I was so stressed out," she reflects. “I wanted something to happen so badly, but when the time was right for my body. I came to accept that it was out of my control.”

The couple decided it was time to take a break and focus on what they could control, including taking steps to improve their mental and physical health.

Finding a way to remember

One of the things Randi and Evan did to heal mentally was attend the first Wave of Light Ceremony in 2025.

"We had gone through so much loss together," says Randi. “I carried these babies, and my husband was so strong for me through it all. Evan didn't realize how much he needed that time to grieve until we attended the ceremony.”

The ceremony, Randi shares, gave Evan a chance to sit with his own experience as a dad and recognize his own sadness.

Randi and Evan lit candles and painted keepsake rocks to honor each life lost. The rocks then came home with them. “I have been wanting to create a garden, and that’s where the rocks are today,” Randi says. Together, Randi and Evan plant sunflowers in the fall and tulips in the spring. The garden, Randi says, gives their family, especially Scotti, something tangible to see when she wants to remember her siblings.

Creating a wave of light

The Wave of Light Ceremony is part of a global movement held on National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Moms and loved ones light candles in honor of babies who have passed, creating a unified "wave of light" around the world.

“Bringing this event to Sharp Chula Vista is part of a larger project to expand our Perinatal Bereavement Program,” explains Keegan Roloff, event organizer and labor and delivery nurse at Sharp Mary Birch Chula Vista. “We want women and families to know they are not alone.”

While nothing can prepare families for this kind of heartbreak, Roloff says that coming together in solidarity and honoring the lives of their little ones can help them find a path toward healing.

A rainbow after loss

A month after the event, Randi gave birth to her rainbow baby, Luke Linney, at Sharp Mary Birch Chula Vista. She was surrounded by many of the people she works with every day. A rainbow baby is a child or children born to a family after a previous pregnancy loss or losses.

As Luke’s first birthday approaches, Randi continues to remember his brothers and sisters who came before him — and the journey that led her family to him.

“This event showed us how important it is to talk about our losses and reminded us that we’re not alone in our grief,” she says. “It gave us hope and healing, and we hope it can do the same for other families.”

Sharp and non-Sharp patients are invited to attend the second annual Wave of Light Ceremony on Thursday, Oct. 15, at Sharp Chula Vista. RSVPs are not required but are encouraged.