Planning for the unexpected: What one mom learned in labor

No matter how well you plan, life can throw you a curveball — especially when it comes to having a baby. That was the case for mom-to-be Susan Meyer who had her baby girl at Sharp Grossmont Hospital.

While every woman’s vision of the perfect birth is different, most hope for a natural vaginal delivery with little medical intervention. Susan envisioned just that.

The flexible birth plan

Susan created a birth plan but approached labor with an open mind. Dr. Amy French, an OBGYN with Sharp Community Medical Group and affiliated with Sharp Grossmont, explains that birth plans are a helpful way to communicate your preferences and take an active role in the delivery experience.

“Every woman is different, and each delivery is unique,” Dr. French says. “It’s important to stay flexible and remember plans may change. The ultimate goal is always a healthy mom and baby.”

According to Dr. French, when labor is progressing smoothly, a vaginal delivery is very possible. However, unexpected changes can arise, which could lead to a C-section.

The most common reasons for C-sections include fetal distress, when a baby isn’t tolerating labor well, and labor that’s not progressing, which occurs if the cervix doesn’t fully dilate or the baby isn’t moving down the birth canal as expected.

Sharp Grossmont has worked diligently to maintain low C-section rates and received national recognition for its efforts. That said, a C-section may become medically necessary — even lifesaving — if a high-risk complication is making a vaginal birth unsafe for a mother and unborn baby.

A shift in plan

For Susan, labor began smoothly, but as it progressed, complications emerged. Her baby’s heart rate dropped, signaling fetal distress. Then, meconium — the baby’s first stool — was found in the amniotic fluid, which can be dangerous if inhaled. Susan also developed a fever, and the baby was having difficulty descending, adding more stress to both.

“I wouldn’t say I had a deep vision of an ideal birth, but I really did want to have the opportunity to experience a vaginal birth,” she says. “When that didn’t happen, I came to terms with it and reminded myself that every birth is beautiful in its own special way.”

Ultimately, Susan underwent a C-section. When she held her newborn daughter for the first time, she was overcome with emotion.

“It was a moment I’ll remember the rest of my life,” she says. “We were able to bond with skin-to-skin contact, and I started breastfeeding right away, something that was important to me and made the moment more special.”

It also helped that throughout the birth process, Susan felt cared for and supported by her husband, mother and Sharp health team. “They were phenomenal — my labor and delivery nurses were truly angels,” she says. “I was incredibly nervous about being so vulnerable during the birthing process, but each person made me feel so comfortable and safe in their own special way. All the worries of vulnerability went out the door.”

The pressure to have a perfect birth

A completely natural birth without help from medical intervention might sound ideal, but it isn’t the norm. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about one-third of U.S. births are C-sections, and another third are induced, says the American Journal of Maternal/Child Nursing. Add in societal norms and curated social media content, and it’s easy to feel pressured to expect the perfect natural birth.

According to Dr. French, most women experience a range of emotions after birth, whether natural or by C-section. And if a natural birth plan goes awry, there can be a sense of loss or disappointment, leading to feelings of sadness or depression.

“I didn’t want to admit it at first, but I was sad and felt like I was grieving a birth I didn’t get to experience,” says Susan. “However, over time, those thoughts got better.”

“I reminded myself that I have a beautiful, healthy baby girl, and the method of delivery does not define me as a mother. My C-section scar reminds me of her birth, the hours of labor, lack of sleep — all of which reminds me of how strong I am as a woman.”

It’s OK not to feel OK

If you’re pregnant or have recently had a baby, it’s OK to feel overwhelmed. Emotional and physical changes that come with pregnancy and childbirth can bring feelings of sadness, loneliness, loss, anxiety or depression, impacting 1 in 5 moms (and 1 in 10 new dads). Also known as perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, symptoms are often under-recognized and stigmatized despite being very treatable.

If you’re experiencing these or similar symptoms, call your health provider immediately. Sharp offers a range of maternal mental health support care, including a free postpartum support group.

In addition, the Postpartum Health Alliance offers a warm hotline for mental health support and resources for specialized treatment referrals and perinatal wellness professionals.

Learn more about pregnancy; get the latest health and wellness news, trends and patient stories from Sharp Health News; and subscribe to our weekly newsletter by clicking the "Sign up" link below.