Realistic resolutions for improved mental health

For many, the new year offers a chance to reset — a “new year, new you” moment — when an inspired goal can bring you closer to the life you want or to a better version of yourself. But change can be hard.

“Making a commitment to change requires time, effort and consistency, which can feel overwhelming,” says Mary Heineke, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Sharp Grossmont Hospital for Behavioral Health.

Research confirms just how difficult it can be to keep a resolution on track. A recent study by Columbia University found that nearly half of Americans make New Year’s resolutions, but only about 25% stay committed to them after 30 days. Even fewer — less than 10% — achieve their goals.

A different approach: Practicing emotional well-being

Typically, New Year’s resolutions center on physical health, weight loss and finances. While well-intentioned, these goals can overlook the emotional well-being needed to make meaningful changes.

“Many resolutions fail because they are framed as rigid commitments rather than flexible practices,” says Heineke. “And when we expect perfection, even small setbacks can lead to disappointment and giving up.”

Heineke emphasizes that it’s not that traditional resolutions are necessarily bad for mental well-being, but that we can use them to feel bad about ourselves. For example, committing to daily exercise may feel motivating at first, but missing a few days can quickly lead to negative self-talk and disengagement.

On the other hand, mental health-centered resolutions are often more sustainable because they’re framed as practices rather than perfection-driven goals, she says. They encourage learning, self-compassion and openness to new ways of feeling better, rather than getting it exactly right.

“Practicing indicates learning — and isn’t that how we get better?” Heineke asks. “It’s not about getting it perfect, but being open to new opportunities to feel better about how we live our lives.”

3 small, intentional goals for well-being

When shifting your focus away from perfection to practice, smaller, more intentional goals make the most sense. These goals prioritize well-being, fit into daily life and are easier to maintain, making them less confined and more rewarding over time.

For example, exercising once a week allows freedom to choose which day and how to exercise. Following through feels good — not guilty — and often reminds you how rewarding it can be, inspiring you to do more.

Heineke suggests 3 mental-health focused resolutions that could help make a meaningful difference:

1. Gratitude: Practice reflecting on things you feel grateful for, such as a beautiful sunset, seasonal changes you noticed or something that made you laugh.

2. Journaling: Create a safe space to process emotions, reduce stress and gain clarity. Write about your thoughts or acknowledge events of the day, or moments of kindness you noticed or contributed to.

3. Self-care: Remember, you need to take care of yourself first. It’s not always easy, but it’s essential for mental wellness. Make self-care an everyday action.

Try a mini resolution

Heineke notes that even tiny, daily practices can support emotional well-being. Simple, quick actions are often easier to sustain and reinforce positive habits. Just a minute or two can have a meaningful impact. Here are a few helpful examples:

• Breathing: Pause for a few conscious breaths using the 4x4 method: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4, and rest for 4. Repeat it 4 times.

• Be present: Keep your thoughts in the current moment, not the past or future. Practice being in the moment by noticing what you see, hear, taste, smell and touch.

• Shift from self-criticism to curiosity: Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings without judgment to foster greater compassion for yourself and others.

Tracking your resolutions: Practice, not perfection

“You’re learning new habits, and progress comes gradually — give yourself grace and compassion,” says Heineke.

Regularly check in on your goals to ensure they still work for you and adjust them as needed to fit your current reality. Tracking progress on a calendar and reflecting monthly can also help keep the process nonjudgmental, quiet the perfectionist voice, and prevent negative self-talk from taking over.

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