How new moms can protect their sleep

Every new parent expects to lose sleep. But for moms, sleep is more than a luxury — it's vital to protecting their mental health.

According to the National Institutes of Health, about 1 in 8 women experience postpartum depression after having a baby. "When sleep gets disrupted, it can trigger the onset of mental health symptoms, such as depression or anxiety," says Sandra Reynaga, a licensed marriage and family therapist with Sharp’s Maternal Mental Health Program.

Many of Reynaga’s patients struggle with sleep after childbirth, making it harder to manage the emotional and physical demands of new parenthood.

When exhaustion becomes a red flag

Some sleep loss is normal in late pregnancy and during the newborn period. Physical discomfort, frequent trips to the bathroom, and waking every hour or two to feed a baby are common. However, some signs may point to a more serious issue.

"When you want to sleep and can't, or you're not able to turn off your thoughts at night, those are red flags," Reynaga says.

Other warning signs include sleep that doesn't feel restorative, the inability to stay asleep, or frequently waking up to check on the baby.

Rethinking 'sleep when the baby sleeps'

New moms hear it all the time: "Sleep when the baby sleeps." Reynaga says the advice is well-intended but not always realistic.

Her version of the advice is to protect mom’s nighttime sleep first.

"Try to sleep when the baby is sleeping at night," she says. “Don't stay up washing dishes, doing chores or going online.”

During the day, a 30-minute nap can help support mental health. If sleep isn't possible, rest still counts. Taking a break, doing something relaxing, and postponing tasks that don't need immediate attention can be beneficial.

The power of 4 to 5 hours

For women at high risk of postpartum depression (PPD), or with moderate to severe PPD or other mental health symptoms, getting one uninterrupted four- to five-hour stretch of sleep at night may be both necessary and effective.

"Research shows restful and sufficient sleep has really positive benefits on mental health," Reynaga says. "When moms are not sleeping in those bigger chunks of time, sleep isn’t restorative."

Reynaga recommends three steps to protect sleep:

1. Treat sleep as sacred.
   Aim for 4 to 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night.

2. Practice good sleep hygiene.
   Go to bed at a consistent time, dim the lights, put electronic devices away and create a calm bedtime routine.

3. Identify your support team.
   Ask a partner, family member or friend to help with nighttime baby care.

A shift plan can make this possible. For example, a mom might sleep from 9 pm to 2 am while a partner or support person handles baby feedings, giving her a protected stretch of 5 hours.

That plan works best when couples talk before the baby arrives, set expectations that sleep will be disrupted, and decide together who will take which shift.

Letting go of the guilt

Many moms struggle to accept nighttime help. Guilt, a need for control, or the belief that it's "their job" can all get in the way.

"It can be helpful for each mom to reflect: Do I feel like I deserve to sleep and feel better?" Reynaga says. "If the answer is no, we can start to look at the underlying factors that contribute to feelings of guilt and other barriers to getting sufficient sleep.”

Sleep deprivation can strain relationships as well. When both partners are running on empty, irritability rises, and patience wears thin. Once each person starts getting sufficient sleep, Reynaga says mood and communication can improve significantly.

What to do if you can’t sleep

For a mom lying awake in the middle of the night, Reynaga suggests two simple strategies.

First, put down the phone. The light from devices can stimulate the brain and make it harder to fall asleep.

Second, try a simple mindfulness exercise. Focus on your breath, and when your mind wanders, gently refocus on inhaling and exhaling.

If you’ve tried these strategies and still can’t fall asleep, or are not feeling like yourself, Reynaga recommends reaching out to your primary care doctor or OBGYN. She also recommends talking with a medical provider before trying sleep aids or supplements, such as melatonin, while pregnant or breastfeeding.

Above all, she wants exhausted moms to know that relief is possible.

"You will sleep again," she says. "It won't be like this forever. This is temporary. And if you need support, there are resources out there for you."

Learn more about the Maternal Mental Health Program, get the latest health and wellness news, trends and patient stories from Sharp Health News, and subscribe to our weekly newsletter by clicking the "Sign up" link below.